I Did What I Had To...

Today I had to leave my boyfriend.

He never was a Christian, he was Hindu, but I jumped into the relationship because he told me he was on the fence and that he did believe in Jesus, he just wasn't a Christian. I figured it would be easy enough to show him church so that he could see miracles and feel His presence and learn about the faith. But even though he said he was interested, things would always get in the way of him showing up. He would tell me it would take at least 5 years for him to decide if he would convert or not.

Well, I let us get too comfortable. I was sure we were going to get married even though he had become stagnant in his interest to learn. Soon people were starting to ask questions and telling me that I needed to give him an ultimatum and really think about things. A few people said they could really feel that he wasn't the one. I didn't want to do it. I really loved him and I still love him. I thought we had a future together, we had plans, we wanted kids, we wanted a suburban/country house near a lake and have a few farm animals. It was going to be a great life, but I was getting warning signals.

Not only were people telling me I should rethink things, there was the problem that he was hiding me from his family and friends. I understand it's a thing in his culture that they're not quite as accepting of interracial marriages as people here are, and his parents wanted to arrange a marriage for him. But all his friends and every Indian guy he ever meets? They can't ALL be THAT strict, can they?

Then another time, I went to turn off my profile on the dating site we met on, and I noticed he was online. I confronted him about it and he said he was deleting messages or something. The data on his profile was also a bit different than what he told me in real life. For instance his profile said his birthday was in May and he was 30, but in real life he said he was 32 and born in October. Last, he eventually started getting roommates in his apartment because he was having trouble paying rent, and due to the whole Indian culture thing, we couldn't go back to his place (which meant we couldn't spend much time together at all) unless they were gone for the time. All of these things deep down made me question his honesty. I still don't know the truth and don't want to believe something was up, but it's possible.

Then finally, after I started getting questions from my friends and feeling convicted, I finally decided it was time. He wasn't making any moves, and it's true, I can't marry him if he isn't a Christian.

We had a very long talk, and more red flags came up. He told me he believes that all religions are the same, and it's true that we shared a lot of moral beliefs between his Hinduism and my Christianity, but they really aren't the same. He started saying a lot of things that were very against my beliefs like:

There are many paths to the truth (The path is narrow, no one comes to the Father except through Me)
I will decide after we are married (Don't be unequally yoked, I can't marry a nonbeliever, and what if he decided not to in the end? I can't take that risk)
As long as you're a good person and don't commit any crimes, God will let you into heaven (You have to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, be baptized, and repent for your sins)
Religion shouldn't be a dealbreaker for marriage, "real life" comes before a god (God comes FIRST and he IS everything)

I'm very upset that I left, and I feel guilty for leaving a perfectly good man only to be alone and miserable again, but this was what I had to do, and I have the faith that God will provide me someone who is more than I could ever imagine. In Shakespeare's words, "Make my swan look like a crow".

He took it way better than I did.